Perhaps I'm an idiot, but I've double, triple, quadruple, quintuple checked the instructions and I've done everything to the letter:
Made folder called PSVITA
Made folder called UPDATE
Put updated file (version 3.65, I have 3.63 currently BTW) in UPDATE folder and called it PSVUPDAT.PUP
When I go into safe mode and try to update, I put the USB drive in as directed... only, nothing happens. At all.
Here is the official directions for reference.
Update using a USB flash drive
Download the update file to your computer, and then save it on the USB flash drive. Copy the saved file to your PS TV system to update the system.
The following things are needed to perform the update:
PS TV system
The computer must connect to the Internet.
USB flash drive.
There must be 150 MB of free space.
On the USB flash drive, create folders for saving the update file.
Using a computer, create a folder named "PSVITA" on the USB flash drive. Inside that folder, create another folder named "UPDATE".
Download the update file, and save it in the "UPDATE" folder you created in step 1.Save the file with the file name "PSVUPDAT.PUP".
Download Now icon
Click to start the download.
Turn off the power of your PS TV system completely.
Press and hold the Power button on your PS TV system for at least 7 seconds to turn on the power. The system starts in safe mode.
Connect a controller using a USB cable, and then press then PS button.
Select [Update System Software] > [Update from USB Storage Device].
Connect the USB flash drive that the update file is saved on to your PS TV system. Follow the screens to complete the update.
If your PS TV system does not recognize the update file, check that the folder names and file name are correct. Enter the folder names and file name in single-byte characters using uppercase letters.
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